What did we do last night that was yellow?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
