Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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