those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
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