what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
