HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
