Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
