you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
