Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
