I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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