before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
