i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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