I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
