He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
pray to the hookup gods
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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