stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
