Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
