dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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