I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
