does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
