She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
