am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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