Have you finally orgasmed yet?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
