Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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