My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
