Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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