Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
