If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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