shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
