He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
