How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
