i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
2020 sucks, I want a refund
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
