Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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