sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
