remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
