Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
