I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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