So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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