Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
