Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
