You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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