I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
