i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Randomize
