bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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