awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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