none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
