I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
