Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
