What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
