i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
