i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
