marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
