did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
